This past March

This past march, I was diagnosed with small cell lung carsenoma extended, or oat cell cancer. I was also diagnosed with a rare disease called lambert-eaton myastenic syndrome. And treatment for both are as painful as you might expect. One was the worst pain you could imagine, and I've had babies! Right after diagnosis, in March, I was told had days to live. Did i want to go home and die there, or be moved to palliative care where they will make me comfortable until I die? I didn't like either of those choices, so I chose door number 3. My daughter and sister did some research and found Baylor Cancer treatment center downtown was the best there was. My dr is Dr Konduri. He has never, not one time said to me that I will die. I know this cancer is terminal, but we don't talk about that because I dont want to. Dr konduri keeps an eye on every aspect of my treatment. He goes over my medicine, wants to know who prescribed it. Do I have their phone number? He will call them, right then, and tell them to take me off of it, or change it. So now I've gone from days to live to the results of my scan from Wednesday. Today I was told my scan was awesome. I have one lymph node that has enlarged, but due to my cough, he thinks it's an infection. He is going to rescan in 2 weeks to be sure it's an infection, but I feel well enough, I believe that is all it is. The other good news is the wound specialist has cleared me for brain radiation. I guess that's good news, but it needs to be done. So in march, I was given days to live. Now, thanks to the God I serve, 8 months later I'm still here. YEAH! Now I just have to deal with lambert-eaton. My legs just don't work well at all. I do the old woman shuffle. If this continues, I will be bed ridden very soon. I go to Houston soon, Nov 1, to be re-examined. If all goes well, I will be given a drug that they say will make my legs normal. Good lord, what a miracle! It would suck to be given more time here on earth, only to have to spend it in bed. So today, I am so grateful to God for all he has done to keep me alive, feeling fairly good, and getting me on the right track for lambert eaton. I am blessed. I am grateful, I am happy, and I am enjoying my life. To my brothers, beware. I am going to be around to bug you for awhile. And to my sister, i already know she is on my side. Thank you Lord for keeping me alive this long. Giving me another grandbaby. I love having 11 of them rascals. just thank you Lord. Y'all keep praying for me. Please. Keep the faith! Becky

Sorry, I hit a wrong button. I have to realize it's not all about me, but my ego is wounded ever so slightly. To my step-sisters on my Fathers side, thank you all for meeting with me early. It meant the world to see you all that extra time when we met early. Rachel and jenny, it was awesome for y'all to be there. Now you know why we are wounded souls. But God lifted us up, saved us, and given us the courage to give up most character defects. I am so blessed. I am loved by many who are not afraid to show it. Keep praying. I am still praying for strength and healing. I fell out of bed last night. After I got past my wounded ego, then I had to muster the strength to get up. It was hard. Just keep praying...Becky

1 Peter

In reading my Bible tonight, I read 1 Peter 1:6-7. " So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead,even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for awhile. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold. So if your faith remains strong after after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.". What awesome scripture!! I just wish, hope and pray I am passing all those trials. As some of you know, I went to Tulsa weekend before last. I went to give my testimony for what I believe will be my last testimony. I had to be helped up the maybe 4 steps by my son. My legs just wouldn't work well on their own. I gave my testimony, and had to be helped down. I have to ask someone, (maybe God), after being bald, can we cut it out with the humiliation! After being bald, I discovered I'm vain. I never would have known that until my head was as slick as a baby's rear end. The other thing I have always known is I HATE asking for help. I just hate it. My body has deteriorated to the point I need help for most everything. The other thing I believe, is God is preparing me for my death. I so pray I am wrong because I'm not done talking about Him. But I believe He is preparing me just the same. I feel if I live 6 more months, it will be a miracle. Now don't everybody go jumping on my for my "lack of faith". It is not that. I have faith in God to know He will take me when he's ready. God also got it thru my thick skull when my husband died, that to God, death is not a punishment, but a reward. It only feels like a punishment for those left. I am also not asking you to quit praying for healing. I would so love to be healed! I would love lots more holidays with my kids and grandkids. I so wish I could have all my kids and grandkids here for what I believe is my last holidays. But that is impossible. 3/4 of my family live out of state. The other thing I have to remember is my kiddos are busy, have lives of their own, and already have plans. I just always believe it's all about me.