1 Peter

In reading my Bible tonight, I read 1 Peter 1:6-7. " So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead,even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for awhile. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold. So if your faith remains strong after after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.". What awesome scripture!! I just wish, hope and pray I am passing all those trials. As some of you know, I went to Tulsa weekend before last. I went to give my testimony for what I believe will be my last testimony. I had to be helped up the maybe 4 steps by my son. My legs just wouldn't work well on their own. I gave my testimony, and had to be helped down. I have to ask someone, (maybe God), after being bald, can we cut it out with the humiliation! After being bald, I discovered I'm vain. I never would have known that until my head was as slick as a baby's rear end. The other thing I have always known is I HATE asking for help. I just hate it. My body has deteriorated to the point I need help for most everything. The other thing I believe, is God is preparing me for my death. I so pray I am wrong because I'm not done talking about Him. But I believe He is preparing me just the same. I feel if I live 6 more months, it will be a miracle. Now don't everybody go jumping on my for my "lack of faith". It is not that. I have faith in God to know He will take me when he's ready. God also got it thru my thick skull when my husband died, that to God, death is not a punishment, but a reward. It only feels like a punishment for those left. I am also not asking you to quit praying for healing. I would so love to be healed! I would love lots more holidays with my kids and grandkids. I so wish I could have all my kids and grandkids here for what I believe is my last holidays. But that is impossible. 3/4 of my family live out of state. The other thing I have to remember is my kiddos are busy, have lives of their own, and already have plans. I just always believe it's all about me.