Tuesday, July 10, 2012

I know I haven't blogged in awhile, but the truth is, I have been too tired. Too tired to blog, too tired to collect my thoughts, too tired to go much of anywhere. I am beginning to realize how weak I am and how strong God really is. I always thought of myself as a strong person, but no more, and that is depressing. I moved in with my daughter and son in law a few weeks ago. I have done it kicking and screaming. Just ask the kids, they will tell you. I haven't always been nice. This move has been hard, but the hardest part has been giving up my independence. Not like I've had my own independence for awhile. I was dependent on Cheryl and she rose to the occasion. I could not ask for a better friend. So today, I am living with the kids, and realizing how dependent I really am. I feel my life coming to a close. My legs don't work, so I use a walker. Taking a bath is hard, getting comfortable enough to sleep is hard, even eating is hard. Lambert-Eaton has caused my left hand to shake so bad, I don't dare use it. The neurologist said from my legs,the disease will effect my arms then my throat. I won't be able to swallow. I don't know when that will happen. What I do know is that my faith is not shaken. I love the Lord and I will go where He sends me, even if I do it on 2 wobbly legs with a walker. Today, I am grateful to be alive. I am happy to feel the sun on my face and grateful to smell tacos cooking. :) I am thankful to feel anything. It means I'm still alive. Don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid to die. I know who my redeemer is. I just pray when the day comes I stand before the Lord, He says "well done, my good and faithful servant". That is my prayer. Also, pray for my daughter and son in law. If I were them, I wouldn't put up with me. Keep the faith and keep praying. Becky


La Menniae said...

You have raised an awesome God fearing daughter. That loves her mama. You are God's lantern. He is shining his light through you. Keep on moving. Much love

Laura said...

Know that I Love my Southern Friend very much