Still here

I am still here. So far, I have survived. The sad part for me is not all of us can say that. This week, the world lost an awesome woman, one who loved the Lord, her husband of a billion years,numerous friends and relatives, and she went to be with the Lord. She fought the fight with all she had, and again, it has reminded me how fragile life really is, and how much we take for granted. I know personally, cancer and chemo have made me sicker than I have ever been in my life, but I keep fighting. I think God just instills that will to survive, so we don't give up so easily. My friend, like my husband will not easily be forgotten after their death. They literally touched so many people, that lives were forever changed. I think death is a personal thing between the person and God. I had a hard time with that after my husbands death, because I always think everything is about me. It's all about me. I know I was the one that felt my heart break inside my chest once he was gone. It took a few years for me to get real with God and tell Him how very angry I was about the whole thing. And being the awesome God he is, He could take it. So now, I am the one fighting to live. I am the one that just wants my life to be normal, and not centered around cancer, chemo, or sickness. I am ready for the last PET scan and I pray, oh how I pray, I will have the all clear. Now I know my cancer is terminal because it is classified extended, instead of limited. But it will mean I will have another day. It will still involve scans to make sure I am still clear, but I can do that. I serve a big, awesome God. I know some day He is going to come get me and take me to the place He has prepared for me. Like my friend and husband, I just pray I have shown people my God, and I pray I made a difference.In themeantime, I just keep onkeeping on. Becky