What a wonderful weekend. I spent it at a church camp in beautiful east Texas. My cousin, Charlene, came to help me. My problems are that my legs don't work so good. I cannot tell you how many trips she made to the room, meeting hall, or getting something in the cafeteria, just because I wasn't strong enough to do it on my own. I HATED asking her for help. I wanted this to be a time of fun and relaxation for her as well, not there to take care of me. I thought about this all the way home. How she sacrificed herself for me, and for no other reason but love. I also began to realize I hate asking God, my Father and Creator for help. I always think he has more important things to do. (like world peace and seeing to it us women wear Christian panties). If you were at camp this week, you get this last statement. I know God cares about my cancer, and I can pray for that, but to ask him to give me strength to walk, seems like I'm troubling him too much. Do you ever do that? Now, as a parent, I want to be involved in all aspects of my children's lives. ( I will not interfere, but I care enough to know what is happening in their lives. Wouldn't God be that way with me? And the only difference is, I want him to interfere. I want him to take control and make me feel good again. Today I realized I am like the cowardly lion on the wizard of oz. I know I have to see the wizard, and I know when I get there, I will be welcome, but I am scared of the journey to get me there. Whether that is healing or death, either way is painful. Haven't I had enough pain in my life? Course, the deciples probably wondered the same thing before they were put to death. The camp was relaxing, shed lots of tears, laughed alot, made new friends, and spend much time with God ( and Charlene). I am anxious to go back next year. I will make my prayer to be stronger before next ladies retreat. Andrea, it was so nice to meet you and put a face to your name. I am so grateful to God, that he has let me live this long, allowed me to see my 11th grandchild, will help me thru one more testimony at family church, and I just pray he gives me all the right words to say. So tonight, as I pray, I won't just pray for healing. I will pray for peace, strength, rest, no pain, my ear to heal, and my life to be a good one. Maybe it is never too much to ask God. I only thought so, and I have been known to be wrong a time or two. Keep the faith, Becky